Feeling lost mid-career? What you’re experiencing is more common than you think

When was the first time you experienced the ‘ick?’

Many people’s mind will drift back to the time their romantic interest did something that turned them off. The person who was once the apple of their eye now makes them cringe insufferably.

But this is not a dating blog, we're here to talk about careers and fulfilment.

However, that ‘ick’ sensation is devastatingly relatable.

Because many of us have had the exact same experience in our careers.

But it’s so much worse because you’ve worked so hard to get here! You may have devoted years of your life grinding away towards a career. And then one day you wake up and see it metaphorically picking its nose and eating it!

What the hell are supposed to do now?! This is one relationship you can’t just ghost. Your livelihood and those that depend on you requires staying put to receive that blood money.

Woah wait… Blood money?! WTF!

Yes, I said blood money because everyday you go into to misaligned work you’re killing the realest part of yourself.

And the result is that you experience a growing lack of motivation and disengagement.

Others may say, so what you’re still getting paid, you’ve still got a prestigious job title and letters after your name. You’ve made it right?...

Just because other people are done, doesn’t mean you have to settle for the same level as them.

You’re already suffering from the ‘Ick’, but there’s no need to endure guilt and shame as well!

Don’t let the opinions of anyone outside of yourself gaslight you into believing you don’t really want to change.

The day I realised I'd outgrown my career

Let me take you back to one of the first ‘ick’ experiences from my own career as a GP...

I turned towards the door of my consultation room as it opened… and was hit with what I can only describe as pure negativity in human form. The aura practically punched me in the face. A woman in her mid-forties stepped in. Her face was somehow both flat and scowling. If looks could kill, I would have been eviscerated on the spot.

I braced myself against the non-verbal assault and mustered as much compassion as I could to greet her. But before I could even speak, she snapped:

“I’ve got a chest infection. I need antibiotics!”

I froze for what felt like eternity as a feeling of disgust filled my body. And then I examined her carefully, half-praying to find a clinically justifiable reason to prescribe. But as expected, there was none.

That’s when the voice in my head started screaming: Why am I here? Why am I subjecting myself to this kind of hostility… again?

She sensed my reluctance.

“I KNOW MY BODY.”

And just like that, the last of my energy evaporated.

I went through the motions of explaining she had a viral cold and antibiotics wouldn’t help. But I knew how this would end. I gave in and prescribed the antibiotics. Not because it was medically right, but to spare other patients from having their appointment cancelled because the GP had been murdered.

(Damn it feels good to share that experience freely now I've changed career.)

This was a moment I realised something critical: it’s entirely possible to be repulsed by a career you once aspired to.

This feeling isn’t rare. It’s part of what psychologists call values dissonance. 

It's the internal stress that builds when your daily actions no longer align with your core beliefs. And in medicine, it’s rampant.

According to a study published in the BMJ, up to 55% of doctors in the UK report symptoms of burnout, with emotional exhaustion and depersonalisation being most common in mid-career professionals.¹

And it’s not just healthcare. The Harvard Business Review reports that mid-career is the most emotionally volatile stage of a professional’s life, with declining job satisfaction, rising disengagement, and increased anxiety about meaning and identity.²

So if you’ve had an ‘ick’ moment in your own career – whether it was:

• an email,
• a patient/client
• a meeting,
• or just pure Sunday night dread

You’re more normal than you think. And accepting that you’ve lost your way is the first step to finding yourself again.

3 hard-hitting truths that will move you forward 

So what do you do when you’re up to you eyeballs in career ick?

When you’ve built a life that no longer fits but don’t have a clue what would fit better?

It’s tempting to want a big, dramatic answer. A flash of clarity. Some magical external sign that says “yes, this is the path”.

But that’s not usually how it works.

In coaching, clarity comes in layers. It’s a process of reconnecting with yourself, step by step.

1. This isn’t just a funk - it’s grief!

This isn’t just a frivolous phase that will pass after a trip to Ibiza. This is a period of mourning which requires acknowledgement. It’s grief for a version of yourself you’ve outgrown. There’s no going back to how things ‘should have been’ when you started on this path. Things aren’t magically going to improve for you. Doing a few mindfulness colouring books every now and then isn’t going to lead to any sustainable change either.

You’re not weak or flaky for feeling stuck, you’re human. Before clarity can come, you need to stop fighting the uncomfortable feelings. Be honest with yourself like I was in the story above.

Let yourself commit to moving on even if you don’t know what you’ll do next.

Reflection: What have I been pretending is fine, but deep down, I know I’ve outgrown?

2. Your job title isn’t a lifeboat

The problem isn’t the career on paper so stop clinging to this as some kind of life raft to stop you drowning in an ocean of misalignment.

Changing values is a part of growth. It’s very inconvenient when it results in a mid-career crisis, but that’s life.

Yes maybe to get here you sacrificed experiencing youth to the fullest. But if you let that sacrificial youth decide the rest of your career it'll be heavily biased towards ‘making it work’.

Time passes quicker than you think and it can take a while for our mental age to catch up. Especially when it comes to making life changing decisions that require us to move on.

If your job constantly force’s you to act against your values - no amount of productivity hacks will fix it.

Reflection: What decisions did I commit to in the past that are no longer leader me towards the future that I want now?

3. Experimentation over fixation

Think of life as one big game of trial and error. Sometimes the trials may last 10 months, sometimes the trials last 10 years. And it’s understandable that with the latter you will get attached.

Some people get lucky and they find their thing at a young age and enjoy it for a lifetime, usually becoming extraordinarily successful. We all love this story and want to emulate these people because it seems ideal. Imagine never having to go through the difficult process of career change.

But if you care about being successful and reaching your full potential then there’s a very high possibility that you will have to change.

Reflection: What’s one thing I’m curious about that I could test without blowing up my life?

Conclusion: You're not lost, you're in transition

If you’ve been battling the career ick for a while now, I want you to know this:

You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re just in between.

What you’re feeling isn’t a failure, it’s a signal. A sign that you’ve outgrown your current reality and your next chapter is calling for your attention.

We live in a world that worships certainty. So it’s no surprise we panic when we feel lost. But being in transition means you’re still moving. You’re moving towards something that matters and that’s something to celebrate, not hide.

The truth is, nobody ever changed their life without having to overcome any internal conflict at all. The trick is not to expect to obliterate it in one fell swoop, but to chip away at it everyday, as you make aligned choices, try new things, and dare to ask better questions.

So let me ask you this:

What if you’re not lost in a dead end but approaching a doorway to something deeper, truer, and more fulfilling?

You don’t have to know exactly what that looks like yet.

But you do have to be brave enough to begin.

Stay Healthy

Lewis

¹ West, C. P., Dyrbye, L. N., & Shanafelt, T. D. (2018).
Physician burnout: contributors, consequences and solutions. BMJ, 363, k3581.
https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.k3581

² Ibarra, H., & Barbulescu, R. (2010).
Identity as narrative: Prevalence, effectiveness, and consequences of narrative identity work in career transitions. Harvard Business Review / Academy of Management Review.
(Referencing secondary coverage in HBR article: “Why So Many Mid-Career Professionals Are Quitting Their Jobs,” published online 2022)
https://hbr.org/2022/04/why-so-many-mid-career-professionals-are-quitting-their-jobs

P.S  

I help purpose-driven millennials find their next career path and build an exit strategy, without risking income or stability.

If you’re ready to begin right now, here are three ways I can support you:

1. Book a Career Clarity Session A one-off session in The Empowerment Clinic to help you find language for the thing you're feeling - and begin mapping a path to something better.

2. Get The Career Clarity Roadmap A free email course designed to help you break through foggy thinking and reconnect with what you really want.

3. Join below to make sure you don't miss next weeks Lew's Letter.