Escaping a job that looks good on paper but feels soul-destroying

How do other people see your career?

If you asked people on the street to rate your career out of 10 what do you think the average score would be?

And how would that score compare to your own rating of your career based on your reality of working day in day out?

Be brutally honest with yourself. There’s no judgement here only the truth and if you want freedom then guess what?

Those private rage crash outs you have in your head matter.

Because all the stupidity, all the inadequacies and all the brokenness of your job that only you can see - need to be factored in.

Many people feel that the admiration of others makes up for the stress and dysfunction of the job.

Being seen as successful is highly rewarding - but its also highly distracting.

Sure, you’ll find minor everyday annoyances in any job. But no one decides to quit their job because the office wifi is being slow.

The real tragedy is how prestige and praise can blind you to systemic dysfunction. It makes it harder to see what’s actually worth walking away from - and even harder to walk away once you do see it.

You feel the tug of war: What you know is true for you… versus what others think is true for you.

It’s not just in your head. You’re up against a deep human tendency called social conformity bias.

Even if you feel deeply misaligned, if the people around you praise your job, your brain will instinctively question you, not them.

So, here’s one question for you to sit with: Do you really love the job… or just the idea of it?

The mask of prestige and the quiet inner disconnect

For a long time, I was that guy.

When people asked what I did for a living I could drop the so called “D-bomb” - Doctor – and say no more.

The nod of social approval would follow, like clockwork. As a man of few words, this suited me well.

I was a GP. And I was good at it. I knew how to manage patients, reassure them, spot red flags, prescribe appropriately, document thoroughly and stay calm when shit hit the fan.

And because I did it well, it was easy to believe: “This is what I should be doing.”

But that belief started to break down when I found myself:

– Seeing the same conditions over and over again

– Giving the same advice

– Ticking the same boxes

Getting through the day… but feeling no love, no joy, no growth.

What started as boredom gradually turned into numbness.

I was stuck in a cage of competence and only I could feel it.

Patients still trusted me. Colleagues still respected me. Family were still proud of me.

And I realised the outside world would keep applauding no matter how dead I felt inside.

But that wasn’t enough anymore. I needed to feel true to myself.

That’s when I stumbled upon the concept of self-actualisation, in my early personal development journey.

It was like a weight was lifted off my chest.

I learned that the ultimate goal in life is to reconcile your inner sense of accomplishment with your external reality. It’s about materialising what you feel is important or meaningful in life - not about what others think.

I realised I couldn’t keep showing up as the expert in other people’s lives, while privately abandoning my own.

How to escape an unfulfilling but socially rewarding job

Escaping an unfulfilling job that looks good on paper requires you to strengthen the connection you have with yourself. This has to happen way before you get to the point of taking physical action like handing in your notice. You have to be willing to separate who you are from the career identity you’ve attached yourself to.

That identity may have served you once, but it isn’t necessarily you.

When your job constantly drains your energy… When it starts violating your values or your sense of self… You have to ask:

Why am I still doing this?

Forget the perspective of your parents, your teachers, and society as a whole.

Why are you choosing to make a living this way?

If your answers fill you with bitter angst then that’s a sign – You’re not in the right place in life.

I know, because I had the exact same sensation when I asked myself those questions. And it drove me to reconnect with the person I knew I was deep down, beneath the identity I’d been handed as a doctor.

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What struck me most was how my passion had been used against me for years before I hit disconnection.

Recently I read Simone Stolzoff’s The Good Enough Job, which introduced me to the term vocation-awe – a concept first coined by librarian Fobazi Ettarh.

It describes the belief that our work should be a calling — and how that belief can be exploited.

In noble professions especially, we’re taught that passion and purpose should outweigh pay, autonomy, even wellbeing.

And it’s that righteousness to prove you’re a “good person”, that traps so many of us in toxic environments.

Until you rid yourself of this conditioning, you’ll keep self-sabotaging any attempt to walk away.

If you’re reading this right now and seeing yourself… I really encourage you to take the opportunity while you’re in this frame of mind to pull out a journal and write whatever comes up when you read these two questions:

1.    Why am I still doing this?

2.    Why am I choosing to make a living this way?

And if journaling’s not your thing, book a career clarity coaching call with me. I’ll ask you a whole bunch of questions to snap you back to yourself and light a fire under your ass.

Redefining success on your own terms

When I finally stopped abandoning myself, it became so much easier to take action.

A whole new definition of success emerged. Success, for me, is now simple:

It’s doing what you feel called to do - in a way that aligns with your values.

Because doing it any other way is a slow leak of energy, identity, and joy. And no amount of social approval will ever reimburse that loss.

Stay Healthy,

Lewis

P.S  If this resonated I'd love to hear your thoughts. Connect with me on Linked-In or Instagram  

If you're struggling to escape an unfulfilling job and need a safe bridge to transition to your own definition of success then here's how I can support you:

1. Book a Career Clarity Session A 1:1 coaching session with me to strengthen your self-connection and commit to the first step towards a value-aligned successful career..

2. Get The Career Clarity Roadmap A free email course designed to help you break through foggy thinking and reconnect with what you really want.

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