Confidence to change careers: where it really comes from

“I just don’t feel confident enough yet”

I’ve heard that phrase so many times – in coaching sessions, LinkedIn DMs, even from my own mouth.

But what if we’ve been sold the wrong story about confidence?

You know that there’s something out there more suited to you don't you.

A career that gives you freedom, autonomy and control over your life.

But how do you really feel about the thought of changing your career right now?

Not at some future unknown point - but right now.

If you’re waiting to feel more confident before you make a change then you’re sitting in the same metaphorical waiting room as 99% of people.

But what if you and all of these people have been misinformed and confidence isn't actually in the clinic?

You’d be sat in that room waiting for something that never arrives.

You’d see other people on the TV or on social media making big life changes and think;

‘Where on earth are they getting this confidence from?!’

‘I’ve been waiting for ages for mine to arrive, why is life so unfair?!’

Yes the game of life can be unfair sometimes but in the case of confidence its fair and square. The real issue with confidence is that you’ve misunderstood the rules.

So let’s get clear on them - confidence comes after action not before.

Ass Clenching, Comfort Zone Stepping 

Before I started posting content on social media I was so worried people who read it would harshly critique my thoughts and ideas.

I thought to myself I’m never going to be able to post anything worth saying because I’m not 100% confident it won’t be torn to pieces.

Every time I had a thought that could have been shared online imposter syndrome showed up. I expected a hole in my logic or flaw in my points would be discovered and exposed.

Sure other content creators posted stuff that didn’t make sense all the time, but they already had 100k followers that’d like anything they say. How could they not be confident?

I know you’re thinking – but they had to start somewhere right. And that’s exactly what convinced me to clench my worrying ass tight and voyage out of my comfort zone.

To my surprise no one flamed me. Hardly anyone even saw it, never mind felt strongly enough to verbally assault me.

So I decided to keep posting and eventually people started seeing them and liking them. I started receiving genuine heartfelt positivity in the comments. I felt seen, but in a good way.

People told me what I was posting was valuable. And that made me feel confident. But I realised the only reason people were able to give me this feedback was because I’d started posting before I felt confident.

This is what the experience content creators that I was trying to emulate must have figured out years before me.

You won’t ever believe with 100% certainty that you can do something until you’ve done it. Instead of waiting for 100% just find a way of moving yourself forward with what you’ve got.

Coaching can massively help support you to find and take those first steps forward. Because having the support of someone who believes in you can be enough to move you to out of your comfort zone and into action. (Without the ass clenching!)

If you’d like to give it a try, take advantage of my free introductory coaching call.

Seeing confidence in a new light

Here are 3 perspective changes that will help you to stop inappropriately depending on confidence.

1.Confidence follows action, not the other way around

The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris explains this beautifully. He explains 2 different definitions of confidence.

You likely only focus on the first one which is confidence as a ‘feeling’ of 100% certainty. The second less commonly acknowledged definition is confidence as an ‘act’ of trust.

Basically we need to produce the act of confidence in order to receive the feeling of confidence. And the act of confidence is based on trust.

Trust in who?

Trust in YOURSELF.

Trusting yourself means connecting to your core values. The things which are most important to you in life hold an enormous amount of power and motivation.

Once you know what those things are you can trust that any action which is aligned with them will move you towards the life you want. This feeling that is a more than a suitable replacement for confidence.

Example: you're not feeling confident enough to call an old classmate to ask them about their career change. But you strongly value freedom and can see that this action is aligned. So you draw the strength to act based on freedom not confidence.

2. You don’t need to feel confident to act – you need courage

Similar to the first perspective we can produce action via a path which does not involve the feeling of confidence. It involves courage.

And guess what courage is?... A value.

When it comes to a match up between David and Goliath who are you rooting for? As great as Goliath may be, the courage of David is always going to win peoples hearts.

Because courage is a universal value that most people have, even if you don’t engage with it yourself, its only human to respect it in other people.

And if you do embrace the value of courage and complete actions that align with it, you build even more trust in yourself. As a direct result of completing the action you learn to trust your ability to do difficult things. This self-trust leads to repeat action and action leads to confidence.

3. Confidence is something you build, not something you're born with

There are 4 different sources to build confidence from according to Psychologist Albert Bandura. Here's my own understanding of them:

Experience. As we’ve discussed doing the action is the primary source of confidence. Even if things are messy at first you’ll still get experience points that will contribute to levelling up your confidence.

Vicarious Experience. This doesn't mean you can sink an extremely high pressure 3 pointer because you saw Steph Curry do it in the Olympics.

But it does mean that if you see someone like you on your level make a brave move you can draw confidence from their experience.

Encouragement. The genuine support of other people is a powerful source of confidence. Just one person who believes in your potential to do something that you’ve not done yet is enough. Its starts with proving them right and ends with their trust amplifying your own self-trust.

Handling Nerves. Managing your stress response and learning to breathe through the nerves gives your body the signal that you’re safe. Regular mindfulness practice can help you detach from thoughts which drive your stress response.

Ultimately confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill. And you can train it.

Question: How could you use one of these sources of confidence to help you take one small action this week to practise building confidence?

Conclusion

Changing your career is undoubtedly one of the biggest calls for confidence that you may have in life.

Confidence is something that you can grow but only if you’re willing to withstand the initial discomfort of action.

You can do this by connecting to your core values and using them to fuel the journey out of your comfort zone.

Passively waiting for confidence to show up before you move isn’t going to work and the circumstances which have lead to you career change aren’t going away either.

So please reflect on the following questions:

What is the cost of you continuing to wait for confidence forever?

What could your career and life look like if you instead acted with courage?

Confidence isn’t a requirement for the change you want. Its going to be the result of it. I believe in you.

Stay Healthy,

Lewis

P.S If it resonated, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Connect and message me on Linked-In.

If confidence is holding you back, I can help you take action to build it:

1) Book a free intro coaching call in The Empowerment Clinic. It's my virtual coaching room where I run the Confident Career Change Coaching program to help you 'flow' into a career that truly fulfils you.

2) Join below so you don't miss next weeks Lew's Letter 👇🏾